If you're bored - click here. I do.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Subway, Brothers, Gertie and Teeny Boppers.

So much time, so little to do.

Wait - strike that, reverse it.

But I do have time to tell a funny story. So let me begin -

About a week ago now, me and my brother decided to go to Subway for a little bit of nutritious lunch. After a long day of appointments and registering for college and what not, we thought we deserved a treat. So, as tired as we were - we went into our neighborhood friendly Subway.

Except, it weren't so friendly. I ordered my sub, no problems. Then my brother orders his. He gets the same thing every time, chicken bacon ranch, with lettuce, tomato, green peppers and cucumbers. He got a six inch this time and was getting his cucumbers put on, and he asks for extra. Two paper thin quarter size cucumbers weren't gonna cut it.

The employee - I didn't catch her name, so I'll call her Gertie (cuz that's what she looked like to me - 5 feet tall, short grey curly hair, glasses...) decides to get a preemptive snotty attitude, slap on some cucumbers, and says:

"Oh, we have to charge you for extra cucumbers."

My brother had a 'o rly?' look on his face and asked - when that had started?

So Gertie says: "That's the owner's policy, we have to charge you."

This woman picked the wrong day to get on my brother's bad side, because it all went down hill from there. It went a little like this -

Luke: "For 2 little tiny cucumbers?"

Gertie: "Yup. That's the policy. Sir."

Luke: "Oh yeah? Then I don't want them, put them back"

Gertie: "Whatever you want sir. (throws cucumbers back in bin) Anything else you would like with that, sir?"

Luke: "Oh yeah. Let me have some tomato."

Gertie: "Ok, anything else?"

Luke: "Mmmhmm. Throw some green peppers on there."

Gertie: "Anything else?"

Luke: "Ok, I'll take onions." (Luke never eats onions)

Gertie: "Anything else? Sir?"

Luke: "Yup, banana peppers."

Gertie: "Ok, anything else?"

Luke: "Pickles."

Gertie: (who is beginning to see where this is going) "Anything else?"

Luke: "Yup. what are those? Jalapenos? Put some of those on there too. Anything else I can throw on this sucker?"

Those were his exact words. I swear. He asked for every single vegetable - one at a time, mind you - and his voice got louder with each veggie. I had figured out what he was up to by this time and was at the end of the counter shaking with laughter. Gertie looked so ticked off, and her face got more and more snotty with each veggie she put on. I think she would have spit in his sub if she had had a chance. Good thing you actually watch the subs being made.

By now, everyone was beginning to watch and new customers were coming in. So Luke decided to try and make a point, and asks (loudly) why was it he could have "every vegetable in sight for free, but couldn't have two extra cucumbers for free?" And Gertie says again , "It's the owner's policy" and Luke says "What was he thinking of?" and Gertie gets her panties in a twist and says "She. Not He." as condescendingly as she can. So Luke is all like "She? That figures."

So I pay for the subs and I think we're all done.

Nope.

Luke asks for the manager and this little blond teenager comes over and says "I'm the manager." Well - at this point, Luke's mad, I'm laughing and Gertie is huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf. And Luke takes one look at the teenager manager, and laughs. Out loud. I did too. I mean, she couldn't have been more than 19 years old. Then it got really good. Luke asks in a stage voice -

"Where's the garbage can so I can throw away all this crap on my sub that I don't want?"

And Teeny Bopper Manager tells him it's by the door - and he goes to throw all the extra veggies away. He doesn't just nicely toss them away, he picks off one thing and chucks it in the garbage as hard as he can, then the next, and the next. Half of the veggies are falling all over the floor and Teeny Bopper Manager is saying over and over, like a broken record - "You can leave anytime you want to, sir." She must have said it about 8 times in 2 minutes. And he would say back "Yup. I know I can, I know can if I want. But I don't want to yet."

He finishes throwing away all those vegetables, and as a parting shot says:

"I just cost you way more money in vegetables than two lousy cucumbers would have cost you."

Exit Stage Left.

It was beautiful. I'm laughing as I type this, it was so funny to see. If they had just been nice, or smiled, or apologized. Anything but get snooty and condescending. Things may have turned out better. As it stands though, I'm glad he gave them a good what for and made them uncomfortable. I had never been treated that badly in my whole life. I will never go back to that particular Subway ever again.

He went to a different one about 3 days later and got extra cucumbers for free.

Back To The Drawing Board

Hrmm. Dilemma. I don't think I'm going to totally move after all. It's just to hard and I'm being lazy. I'll just post where I feel like it, when I feel like it. End of story.


So, what's up with me? Well, I'm having major emotional issues. They're weird ones - but I'm a weird one, so I guess it makes sense. I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 months now and I'm very angry with myself. I feel like everything I spent so much time working on just got flushed down the toilet. I didn't gain too much weight back, about 7 pounds I think. I'm at 309. Which is a heck of a lot better than 320. But still...


Here's what went down. I was going to the gym with my bestest friend in the whole world. Then her husband, who's a pastor, got a church in Maryland. We lived in NY. You can do the math. So, I kinda gave up because I didn't have my gym buddy anymore. But then, I'm all like "well - that's a chicken crap way to be, Lorikate." and I feel like I should be going.

And I should be.

But every time I think about going without her, I want to cry. I know it's strange, but she was my best friend soul mate. And those don't come along that often. So I don't think I've emotionally dealt with her moving away. I feel like a silly teenager, but I really relied on her friendship. We're still friends, but it's not the same. It just ain't.

So I think the plan is to suck it up, grab the iPod and go back to the gym. Tomorrow. Hubby's not working or in school, so I have the day to do that if I want. I have to get through this.

Huh, who'd a thunk going to the gym was such an emotional battle. But it is, I'll let you know how it works out.

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dependency

I am sick of people and their crap. I am sick and tired of people telling me to stop depending on everyone else.

For the record, I have made it through my life largely alone. I don't deny that people have helped me along the way, but I have mostly been very much alone.

I have an amazing life right now. I am married to - quite possibly - the most wonderful man alive. He loves me exactly for who I am - stretch marks, bad history, PMS, everything. This man loved me through being chronically depressed, through a bad divorce and worse custody battles, through just about every family issue you can imagine. He has helped not only me, but every single member of my family.

Lately, I have had several of these exact family members tell me that I spend my life depending on others.

If you think that being a stay at home mom is considered depending on others, then you need to either have children, or really raise the ones you have. Being a stay at home mom is a level of work that cannot be explained, only demonstrated. You have to have actually lived it. Nothing else counts. I could give you the long list - changing diapers, making lists, cleaning toys, washing clothes...ecetera, ecetera. I could also try and explain the feeling of being responsible for a little tiny person 24/7, while you're awake, while you're sleeping, while you shop, while you try and relax, even if you manage to get a babysitter - while you're out. It's with you every moment of every day.

Now let me explain something further. I had a very difficult pregnancy, and a difficult delivery. I had to have an emergency C-section. I had a horrible hospital stay, you can read about it in My Story.

Now here's what some of you may not know. My so-called husband (at the time) worked about 30 hours a week at a gas station. He thought he worked oh-so-hard and wouldn't help me. At all. So when my little baby boy cried in the middle of the night, I had to partway roll out of the bed, hold a pillow against my stomach incision, and hobble over to the crib. Then I had to bend over, lift him out, and hobble to the armchair and try and nurse the baby who did not want to be nursed. Then I had to go back to the bedroom, put him to bed and crawl back into my own bed. All as quietly and as quickly as possible so I wouldn't wake up my bi-polar alcoholic (ex) husband. I was alone. As alone as a person can be, maybe more so because someone was there - but wouldn't help me. At all. My younger sister, who partied (she was a teen at the time) helped me out more than anyone else. My mother tried to do what she could, but was married to a crazy (literally - PSTD, schizophrenic) man at the time and wasn't "allowed" to do much to help me. I was on my own. Broke, living in a crappy apartment with plastic chairs and not knowing what to do next. Yeah, I depended so much on everyone - right? You know what - it didn't even occur to me to ask for help, because I just thought that since I was the mother, it was my job. And you know something - I believe I was right about that. To much help renders you helpless.

And when the aforementioned jackass ex husband decided to pick up and leave me - I was left with a little toddler and no income. I was also left with a month of debt, because he had decided he need the money - for drinking and cigarettes. So what did I do? Let me see...I got a job. Waitressing at Pizza Hut. I had to ask family members to watch my son, so if you consider that depending on people - fine. I also found my son daycare when my family could no longer help. And I did all the mom stuff. All of it.

There's more. Ever since I've been on my own, I have been there for every single family member - aside from one brother who lived across the country. I have had my brother, my 2 sisters, my mother and my father all live with me at one time or another. I have driven to WV from NY 2 times to help my brother, Luke. I have lived with Luke on and off since I was 18. When my one sister was living in (what looked like) a crack house, I took her with me to WV to get her away. She also lived with me right after I had my son, because she had no where else to go. I gave her my son's room. My father got kicked out of his house of 17 years by his witch of a girlfriend and he came to live with my sister, then me. My mother was in a situation with her husband a year ago - where he tried to kill her. And who did she live with? Yup - you guessed it, me.

I have been there for people to borrow money from, I have given my last dollar from my bank account. I have given people rides, offered my car, taught people to drive - and not once said that I couldn't afford the wear and tear on my car. I have babysat, grocery shopped, cleaned, taken depressed people on vacation, gone to the hospital, stayed in the hospital and generally have done everything I can to help.

I have had people be there for me, of course I have. But I don't expect it, and I certainly don't get angry when no one is there. I do it myself, because I have to.

What this boils down to is - I don't expect people to watch my kids so I can go upstairs and do paper work. (if that person is reading this..I know that that was the old you!) I don't expect people to watch my children so I can go to sleep - at night - because I don't like to sleep in the day. I do what I have to do because I'm a mother. And I most definitely certainly do not depend on everyone else to do it for me.

In my eyes, I have earned the right to be happily married, and have a good, stable, happy, easy home life. If you think otherwise, then you must not really love me or care about me. If you think that everything I have ever gone through was fun, and therefore don't deserve a happy ever after ending, then you must either be jealous, calloused or insane. And that hurts me to think that any one of my friends or family would be that way towards me. I love my family, and I would help any one of them any instant of any day. But right now I am angry, and tired, and just plain mad. And hurt. It sucks to be hurt.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Life's A Peach

So...it's been an interesting last few days. There's just no other way to describe my life, I think. It's not 'good' or 'bad' or 'fun' or 'boring'.... in truth, it's all of those things. So when I need to describe my life, only one word sums all of that up.

Interesting.

Ain't life a peach?

So, 2 days ago, my Hubby comes home from work, visibly upset. He proceeds to tell me that he got pulled over while leaving home for work. Yup, he was speeding. In a spot where I had told him 84 kajillion times to not speed. Men. Anyway, he finds out that his license has been revoked. Why? We don't know. It just is. He has to call the DMV later today and find out. We think we may have missed a ticket sometime earlier this year. We don't exactly know how...we just...did.

See, when we moved, our address changed got all messed up. Our last name is the same as his parents, and his grandma - and we all lived in the same house. So when I did a family name change online, we started getting his parents mail and they got ours. It took a few months to clear that up. So I think any mail we may have gotten from the DMV didn't exactly get to us.

So now I have to take my husband to work and back for the next few weeks until we have the money to pay off said theorized ticket unpayment. You get that?


That wouldn't be too bad, but my car inspection is like.......7 months overdue. I was supposed to have it inspected in January. So because I don't want to drive an illegal car and get yet another ticket....we had to borrow Hubby's parents van. Which costs waaaay more in gas then a little Honda Civic 2-door hatchback. And since I have to take the Man to work and back...this is gonna be fun.

To top off my interesting week, Time Warner decided to crawl up my butt and start demanding money. Thrill. They want x amount of dollars by, umm...tomorrow. So I had to spend yesterday calling one person, then another to borrow different amounts of money so I can keep my phone and Internet. And I need my Internet. What else would I do? I certainly don't have the money to go out, and I don't have much else to do...so I need my internet.

On a funnier note, my son found a little creek behind our little cul-de-sac. So he goes down to catch fish and crayfish. He caught a pretty big one and brought it back to show me. I got him to pick it up and snapped a pic.

And that's what I got. Love it. He's so funny, my guy. I can't exactly call him little, because he's getting to be as tall as me. But he's still my guy.

Well, that's it for now. Later all.

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Fun Vacation From Hell - Part 2

I woke up today with the intention of going to the gym.

Ahhh.......the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So here I am, in my living room, being bored and wondering what I should do. So I decided to finish up my vacay story.So, where was I?

Ah yes, bad trip down, fun time there...now we were on our way back.

Now, I had a plan. My mother had to be back home by Tuesday morning to work her double shift at Pizza Hut. Mind you - we had left Thursday, gotten there Friday and decided to leave Sunday morning afternoon evening. The general idea was that - since we had had such a blast on the trip down - we should leave Sunday and get some mileage behind us. My theory was that my brother would get kidney stones again. I wanted to leave at about 3pm, but my mom gave me the ever annoying puppy dog eyes, and I thought maybe we could stay later, because I'm just nice like that.

Yeah, my plans never go right. Mom had to say a one hour goodbye to family at one house, then my brother had to stop and get his bag - and say a one hour good bye at another house. While mom talked to everyone and generally didn't want to leave.

We left at 9:30pm. Why do I even bother?
We drove for a while, I started getting tired, but got my second wind at about 11pm and decided to push as far as possible. We finally stopped at about 1:30 to stay at a Best Western I had found a coupon for. It had a pool, and my son likes to swim - so I thought it was a good idea.

Wrong again.

We checked in, I asked how much they'd charge for a later checkout, and the guy said they would charge a whole other day. Yay. So, I figured get in, go to sleep by 2:30, get up at 10, swim and leave.

I guess I enjoy being wrong, because that is so not what went down.

We walked into our room and immediately noticed a weird musty smell. It wasn't too bad, so it seemed like we could deal with it. We were exhausted and just wanted to get as much sleep as we could. We had all started unpacking, and didn't want to repack and lug our stuff around. We settled down, and about 20 minutes later, I realize I am having a really hard time breathing. I had just gotten over bronchitis, and this was not fun. I really felt like there was a weight on my chest. My brother got up, and I looked at him and he tells me he can't breathe. He has had lung surgery - so you get how hard it was for him to try and breathe in a musty room. So he calls down to the desk and explains. They were really nice about it, and gave us another room immediately. My brother carries my son into the new room and I grab a few things. Then we go to wake up my mom, and she's half dead asleep and mumbles "no, I'm fine" and Luke (my brother) tells her no, she'll get a migraine if she stays in that room. She finally got up and moved. Then Luke starts moving all our stuff (they had said we could keep both rooms) and I help out. I think we got to sleep eventually....like.....5 AM.

I had set the alarm for 10am (yeah, right) and got up at about 11:30. Check out time was 12. I had briefly woken up at about 9am , to the sounds of my brother calling the front desk to ask for more time. They gave us till 2pm. I took Logan swimming, and my mom comes to tell me she had talked to the front desk and they gave us all the time we wanted to leave.

So we left at 4pm. Only us...only us.....

Generally all went well, it was an enjoyable drive. We stopped for gas, and I couldn't see the name of the station - but I went anyway, and Luke tells me it's a BP. So I acidentally supported the Great Oil Spill people. Then Luke decided he wanted Taco Bell for dinner. Sounded like a good idea - but mom had reservations about Luke eating tacos. He has stomach problems too. But we went anyway, because I wanted me a Mexican Pizza. Yummy. We ate, got more gas, and left. About 1/2 an hour later, 4 hours from home - my brother starts holding his side and groaning again. We're down to 5 bucks and need to get home. There was no question of staying anywhere, no one could afford it.

Luke was yelling pretty loud, and took some Vicodin. He yelled some more and took another one. I felt awful - I couldn't stop, it hurt him to go on - we were stuck. He took a 3rd pill and the pain finally let up. It turned out he had had kidney pain and stomach pain. So that was a bad episode.

We got home at about 2:30 am, without further issues. What a trip. I don't think I'll be going on a 'vacation' again for a while.

I am so ready for Christmas. Really, I am.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Let Me Sum Up

Is today Thursday? Really? What happened to the week?

I'm so tired. I can't believe the amount of crap I've been through this summer.

I had a plan.

It was a good plan.

I was going to spend the summer going to the gym, losing weight and spending time with my son, my friends and my family.

So what happens?

I get bronchitis. For 2 whole weeks. I literally spent almost a whole week in bed, laying on my side watching Netflix and playing games on pogo.com. I spent 2 weeks breathing in the Vick's that was smeared on my chest and stuffed up my nose. I couldn't breathe without coughing, so I certainly wasn't spending any time running around with the boy in the back yard.

So, I get over my sickness (mostly - I'm still coughing a little) and I get my period. Not a ho-hum I have cramps boo hoo let's take some ibuprofen and lay down period.


I get a holy crap kill me now take me to the er and let me die now period. I spent a whole evening with instruments shoved up my hoo-hah just for them to tell me nothing was wrong - go home and take some ibuprofen. I wanted to kill people. Ibuprofen?? If I could have taken (over the counter) ibuprofen to get rid of my pain - I wouldn't BE here, you dimwit. Let me chop off your leg and hand you some ibuprofen. Tell me how you feel then. Hmph.

So about a week after that I get a pain in my side. I think I'm full of gas, but my pain level says otherwise and I end up on the floor - clawing it and hollering. I go to the hospital again - and we figure out that I have a kidney stone. It takes the ER 5 hours to figure this out by the way.... I could have just taken ibuprofen and saved them all the trouble, but I thought I was dying and my liver or something had blown up - so I ended up in the ER. For 5 hours. For a 3 mm kidney stone. How something that small can cause that much pain is beyond me. Anyway, they finally finish up at about 4am, and send me home with  - you guessed it - Ibuprofen. This time my mom and I put our foot (feet?) down and make them give me the real stuff. Jeez. You think they'd think I was a drug addict or something. My mom theorizes that it's because I'm fat. I think there's some truth in that, medical discrimination against fat people. My brother weighs like 5 pound dripping wet and he gets Vicodin if he blinks funny. I get ibuprofen. Yay.
Life's Little Cure-All

Anyhoo....after that loverly episode of pain and torture, I get a yeast infection. Digging around your personal parts, smearing them with Vagasil and anti itch cream is not a good way to spend a week. Especially if no one's had sex in about 3 weeks at this point. Then you get horny and itchy and that's not a good combo. Trust me. I never, ever want a yeast infection again. I think I spent about 4 hours a day in boiling hot water in the bathtub. Literally.

It doesn't end here folks. Oh, no. The good Lord has more up his sleeve for me. (thank you Jesus for teaching me about humility and pain - no further lessons are needed, k thanx bai.) At the tail end of Ye Old Yeast Infection....I get my period again. Dun dun dun. Doing the math I'm kind of like What the-?, but hey, who ever said my body was any good at math. So, for those of you who have tried to insert a tampon into an itchy vagina.....I totally understand and sympathize. That's a kind of torture I wouldn't wish on Obama my worst enemy. (is it wrong that I'm laughing because Obama isn't on the spellcheck list?) On second thought.....

Then I have vacation.  A simple, uncomplicated little trip down to South Carolina for my family reunion.

Right. I guess God never got my little memo about me needing a break from...well, from life. You can read all about some of that little trip here. Not fun. Well, fun, but not fun.

So, I get home 3 days ago today and what do I wake up with on Tuesday morning? A freaking head cold. In August. August. Really Lord? Seriously? How can all this crap happen to just one person this summer? Why? What for? Howcome?

Well, now that the summer is pretty much over, I plan...wait a second. I plan nothing. If I plan on nothing...then I can't be disappointed.



I am so ready for Christmas.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Fun Vaction From Hell - Part 1

I went on vacation.

I think.

The original plan was this:

We were going from NY to SC. I would take myself, my son - Logan and my brother, Luke. My mom would follow me down in her car. The reason for this was that my mom had to be back earlier, and she also had to meet my other brother, Liam - and his girlfriend, Kaycee - in SC. They had flown there from Washington state. They would ride back up with my mom and I would stay in SC longer and visit.

We were operating on a shoestring budget, and would have to drive about 11 hours straight. No money, or time, for stopping and staying anywhere. We left at about 1pm - no one in my family is a morning person, and that's just how we roll....always late. Anyway, my mom was going to follow me, seeing as she couldn't remember the directions.

(which - by the way - was this: 81S to 77S. Yeah, that's it......)

So off we go. My brother, Luke was riding with me, and my son, Logan was riding with my Mom. Sure enough - we hit some roadwork. There was a highway split, both one lane, surrounded by barrells and cones. You either went straight on 81S, or veered right to go on 80 East. Nearing this split I had a sinking feeling something would go wrong, and my mom did not dissapoint.

She followed the wrong little red car down 80 East. You heard me. So Luke called her, and told her to turn around and get back on 81 South. we would meet up at the next available rest area. Sounds simple enough - right?


Wrong. My brother was trying to explain the plan to my mom over a really crappy cell phone, and I only heard his end of the conversation. So I"m filling in some blanks here - but the conversation went a little like this:

Luke: Mom, meet us at the next rest area.

Mom: Where?

Luke: The next rest area.

Mom: Where is it?

Luke: Just..the next rest area.

Mom: How far is it?

Luke: Mom, just...the next one!

Mom: Will you be there?

Luke: I don't know, just stop and wait for us!

Mom: Will you get there first?

Luke: I don't know, just stop at the next rest area, if you get there first wait for us. If we get there first we'll wait for you.

Mom: Where's it at?

Luke: The next @*$@*# rest area, Mom. The next one you come to. Meet us there!

Mom: But...how far is it?

Luke: I don't @*(%&*%# KNOW. Just drive until you see a rest area, and stop there!

Mom: But how will I know where to stop?

Luke: You see a sign for a rest area and you @*$#^( STOP.

Mom: How will I know when to stop?

There was a lot of swearing after this one, some more yelling, me hollering and Luke swearing some more, and I think she finally got the picture because Luke swore some more and then hung up. It was sort of comical.

Anyway, we get through the traffic and are zipping along, looking for the next rest area, and the phone rings again. My mom's car had broken down and we had to turn around to go get her. She tells my brother that she's next to the exit to Hazelton (PA) and hangs up.

There are 6 exits into Hazelton. We try to call back to see which one she's at, and there's no answer. We call, over and over, and over, and over. No answer. My brother and I start to worry.  A lot. He keeps saying that they've been hijacked. I keep telling him to shut up. (he was scaring me, and I just need to focus and drive) There's a lot of swearing, yelling, finger pointing, and screaming in each others faces. There was almost some hitting and throwing someone out of the car. We were worried. It was hot, and I didn't know where my son was. She finally answered and told us which exit she was at. We find them and get to a gas station, and ask for directions to a mechanic. Needless to say - we get lost trying to find the mechanic, ask for directions again, no one knows anything about anything, ask someone else, and finally find the little tiny podunk place. Fun, fun, fun.

Turned out her radiator fan had broken. It was Thursday evening at about 5pm. The mechanic can't get the part until Monday. The reunion is on Saturday. We make the decision to pack her into my little Honda Civic - 2 door hatchback - and continue on. In hindsight, it was a good thing in a way - because my mom had had a 2 day migraine and was really sick. She was having a hard time driving. Anyway....

Now, me, my brother Luke and my son Logan had each packed a duffle bag and a backpack (for inside the car). We go to get my mothers luggage and try and fit her into the car.

She had - and I quote -

1 suitcase, 1 make up case, 1 small bin of medicines, 1 large bag (her purse), 1 tote bag (personal papers, her Bible), 1 cooler, 1 tote (paper products)1 camera case, 1 fan and 1 tripod. Oh, and 3 bags of food. Which I guess, in her defense, we asked her to bring. There was no way we were getting all that into my car. So , she pared it down and we were finally off. Again.

About 1 hour late my brother tells me he has to go to the bathroom. We stop, he goes in, and - wait for it - comes out holding his stomach. Turns out he was passing a kidney stone. He had vicodin, but was still groaning. He tells me to just keep driving - but by now, it's getting to be near midnight, and we're in Virginia. Virginia is......empty. And the stops are far and few between. And my brother needs a bathroom. So, I finally see a hotel, and I decide to stop for the night. It was a good idea. We got a good nights sleep. We wake up pretty refreshed, and get back on the road at about 2pm.

We drive....and my brother gets a migraine. So, for almost the rest of the trip...he's sick. I feel bad, but we had to keep going. The reunion was Saturday, and this was Friday evening.

But...we finally make into SC at about 7pm. We all head to where ever it is we are staying at, and my brother's migraine goes away. We had a good time while we were down there. The reunion went great, I even played volleyball. My son found the tree fort in the woods, and we all had a blast. I saw cousins and Aunts and Uncles I hadn't seen in almost 15 years. I met all their wives and children. My son even came away from the event with a whole box of Dragonball Z tapes. He was in heaven. We laughed, goofed off, fooled around, ate lots of food and generally made idiots of ourselves. It was awesome.

Until we head home.

But I'm going to make that Part 2.