Wait - strike that, reverse it.
But I do have time to tell a funny story. So let me begin -
About a week ago now, me and my brother decided to go to Subway for a little bit of nutritious lunch. After a long day of appointments and registering for college and what not, we thought we deserved a treat. So, as tired as we were - we went into our neighborhood friendly Subway.
Except, it weren't so friendly. I ordered my sub, no problems. Then my brother orders his. He gets the same thing every time, chicken bacon ranch, with lettuce, tomato, green peppers and cucumbers. He got a six inch this time and was getting his cucumbers put on, and he asks for extra. Two paper thin quarter size cucumbers weren't gonna cut it.
The employee - I didn't catch her name, so I'll call her Gertie (cuz that's what she looked like to me - 5 feet tall, short grey curly hair, glasses...) decides to get a preemptive snotty attitude, slap on some cucumbers, and says:
"Oh, we have to charge you for extra cucumbers."
My brother had a 'o rly?' look on his face and asked - when that had started?
So Gertie says: "That's the owner's policy, we have to charge you."
This woman picked the wrong day to get on my brother's bad side, because it all went down hill from there. It went a little like this -
Luke: "For 2 little tiny cucumbers?"
Gertie: "Yup. That's the policy. Sir."
Luke: "Oh yeah? Then I don't want them, put them back"
Gertie: "Whatever you want sir. (throws cucumbers back in bin) Anything else you would like with that, sir?"
Luke: "Oh yeah. Let me have some tomato."
Gertie: "Ok, anything else?"
Luke: "Mmmhmm. Throw some green peppers on there."
Gertie: "Anything else?"
Luke: "Ok, I'll take onions." (Luke never eats onions)
Gertie: "Anything else? Sir?"
Luke: "Yup, banana peppers."
Gertie: "Ok, anything else?"
Gertie: (who is beginning to see where this is going) "Anything else?"
Luke: "Yup. what are those? Jalapenos? Put some of those on there too. Anything else I can throw on this sucker?"
Those were his exact words. I swear. He asked for every single vegetable - one at a time, mind you - and his voice got louder with each veggie. I had figured out what he was up to by this time and was at the end of the counter shaking with laughter. Gertie looked so ticked off, and her face got more and more snotty with each veggie she put on. I think she would have spit in his sub if she had had a chance. Good thing you actually watch the subs being made.
By now, everyone was beginning to watch and new customers were coming in. So Luke decided to try and make a point, and asks (loudly) why was it he could have "every vegetable in sight for free, but couldn't have two extra cucumbers for free?" And Gertie says again , "It's the owner's policy" and Luke says "What was he thinking of?" and Gertie gets her panties in a twist and says "She. Not He." as condescendingly as she can. So Luke is all like "She? That figures."
So I pay for the subs and I think we're all done.
Luke asks for the manager and this little blond teenager comes over and says "I'm the manager." Well - at this point, Luke's mad, I'm laughing and Gertie is huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf. And Luke takes one look at the
"Where's the garbage can so I can throw away all this crap on my sub that I don't want?"
And Teeny Bopper Manager tells him it's by the door - and he goes to throw all the extra veggies away. He doesn't just nicely toss them away, he picks off one thing and chucks it in the garbage as hard as he can, then the next, and the next. Half of the veggies are falling all over the floor and Teeny Bopper Manager is saying over and over, like a broken record - "You can leave anytime you want to, sir." She must have said it about 8 times in 2 minutes. And he would say back "Yup. I know I can, I know can if I want. But I don't want to yet."
He finishes throwing away all those vegetables, and as a parting shot says:
"I just cost you way more money in vegetables than two lousy cucumbers would have cost you."
Exit Stage Left.
It was beautiful. I'm laughing as I type this, it was so funny to see. If they had just been nice, or smiled, or apologized. Anything but get snooty and condescending. Things may have turned out better. As it stands though, I'm glad he gave them a good what for and made them uncomfortable. I had never been treated that badly in my whole life. I will never go back to that particular Subway ever again.
He went to a different one about 3 days later and got extra cucumbers for free.