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Friday, May 21, 2010

You Know What I Hate?

1. Underwire bra rashes and bruises. Ok, if we're gonna go there, I hate underwire bras. Sadly, underwire is the only thing keeping my girls from swinging of the floor.

2. Hmm, this may become a anti bra rant. I hate the marks left in my shoulders after I take my bra off at night. It looks like my kid could run a matchbox car race in there.

3. Teeny tiny stiletto heels. Ok, secretly I love them. I want to wear them. I just don't want to look like a fat midget elephant on stilts when I do.

4. The people in the McDonald drive through that ask me if I want to "go large" or "supersize" my food. Honey, I am large, and I've been supersized for the last 10 years. I don't need your help, k thanx bye.

5. Pews. Where's the plus sized, cushioned, padded pews? Didn't think so.

6. Diet food. There's a secret code for it - I think I have it figured out. Sugar free means high fat, Fat free means high calorie, and Low calorie means high sugar. I'm fat and diabetic - guess that means I live on celery for the next year. Yum.

7. While we're talking about food, why is there no healthy food options at the movie theater. Except Coke Zero. Color me ecstatic.

 8. Sugar free candy. Or sugar free chocolate. I thought I had found an out, something to finally look forward to. then I ate a whole bag and spent the night on the toilet. Thanks a lot for teasing me, Russell Stover.

9. Skinny people that pinch their skin and whine "I'm fat". My size zero sister used to do that. Then she got pregnant. Who's laughing now?

10. Fat people that pinch their fat and whine "I'm fat". Duh. You think?

9 comments:

  1. You know what *I* hate? For some reason blogger isn't letting me add you to my roll. You were there but it wasn't picking up anything new so I took you off to try and fix it and now you're nowhere to be seen.

    I think I could cry.

    Or, at the very least, beat up someone at blogger.

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  2. Dontcha just LOVE when blogger messes something up! Happens to me every time I want to put a little something extra in my blog. :P Thanks though, gave a good laugh this morning - and I needed it ! :)

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  3. I got a solution to one problem for you! The bra rashes have cleared up for me since I started using Monistat Chafing Relief Powder-Gel. I think it's technically for inner thigh and bikini area, but works great for me under my bra.

    Sadly, I can completely relate to the rest of your list.

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  4. I hate underwire. I really like the glamorise bras from JCP, they're the only Gcup bras I can find, LOL but they're very supportive and wire-free!

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  5. LOL that gave me a laugh this morning!!

    i have to agree with the list as well <3

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  6. Hey lady - love your blog! I, too, despise underwire bras and haven't worn one for years (underwire that is); I like the 18-hour bras but they wear out quickly. :( I also love Coke Zero - Sprite Zero is good too!

    Saw your index cards on Jack Sh*t's site; I applaude your bravery.

    ReplyDelete

Be nice. Or I will find you and sic my pet zombie on you.